The Olympic trials are on and people are making teams… and some aren’t. Are moms not the same way? We all have those moms we look at and think “dang she has it figured out”. This is why Proverbs 31 is such a popular chapter, we all strive to be that “perfect woman”. It’s hard not to compare ourselves but here are 5 reasons why it’s dangerous.
- It steals our joy!- comparison is the number one cause of discontentment. Those aren’t scientific statistics but I’d put my mommy money on that being true. When you look at someone being better than you, you are actually saying that you are less than. Never sell yourself short.
- It robs our kids of their true mom- How can we be exactly who our kids need if we are trying to be someone who parents different kids? Every single family is different and God made you to be a specific type of person for your individual family. This means your strengths are exactly what your children need.
- It makes friends uncomfortable- Seriously! There is nothing worse than feeling like someone is trying to compete with you whether it’s over the kids, dress, money or who’s more tired.
- You can’t be a true friend- Moms that are trying to outdo give out a message that they aren’t actually listening and really they aren’t. You are robbing yourself of genuine and deep friendships because it’s a one sided relationship. Make sure you are listening more than you are talking and make sure you are not just trying to one up.
- It can impact you financially- Trying to keep up with Mrs. Jones can leave you quite depleted of resources. The best preschools, clothes, makeup, cars.. it all doesn’t matter. You are a mom because of your children, keep it about them.
And the one reason you should compare?
- It can help you improve on qualities you want to change!- Yes, we all know our shortcomings and where we need improvement. It’s ok to strive for qualities that can make us be a better mom, woman, overall human. I look at the moms that are always level headed and use soft voices as something that I want in myself. Not because I want to compete but because I want to be better.
So while it is dangerous to compare yourself to others, if you feel yourself comparing yourself to other mothers check your motives and make sure it’s to better yourself. Not compete.