I so desperately wanted to be a perfect mom, and a perfect wife, and overall a perfect person. Many times I’d take a picture, realize there was a pile of clothes in the background and restage that moment… minus the imperfection. Did I ever inspect other people’s pictures for those things, heck no! I wanted to give a perception that I had my stuff together and there are days I feel like I do… but there are also days that I don’t. Those days are filled with all kinds of self shaming that is obviously done from the pits of hell.
See these bananas? One of my kids told me they weren’t good anymore. Those bruises meant they had gone bad and we should toss them. Oh hey kid, here’s a life lesson for you!
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
Why do I go to that verse in times I feel imperfect? Because sometimes all we need to do is remain joyful, patient and faithful. Our imperfections are there for a reason, those are not bruises on the bananas. That’s how we know when they are the sweetest. One of the best talks with a friend was when I let go of what she’d think of me. I threw all my imperfections and insecurities at her and she threw hers right back. We cried, laughed, felt better and closer.
The fruit that looks perfect is not ready yet.
So embrace those imperfections, they make you who you are and makes you sweeter to the soul.
Y’all, this is a busy season. We’re all feeling those pressures, BACK TO SCHOOL TIME! That means school supply shopping (fresh pencil smell!), back pack stuffing with tissue boxes, trying to get our lives together because it’s a NEW YEAR! I feel like there are two times to start over… new year’s day and first day of school. Both give you chances and the good Lord himself knows I need a redo on life at least twice a year. I’ve stuffed my schedule with cleaning (read that nesting in the 6th month of pregnancy which I will inevitably do 5 million more times in the next 3-ish months), menu planning, and honestly… doing the fun things I thought we’d do over the summer. SO tonight is back to school night, the night we make fools of ourselves in front of our precious baby’s new teacher and hope it doesn’t add to their list of things to talk about in therapy. I needed a quick meal and since we’re starting fresh in the job department, cheap meals are making a popular comeback. This is my fav!
See that picture? It included steam… if only it included smell.
3 cans italian green beans (any will do but those italians are sentimental to me)
6 red potatoes (just dice those suckers up)
1 pkg smoked sausage (I do turkey)
whatever seasonings you like! (cajun is a hit but salt and pepper will do)
Throw all that in the crockpot on low for as long as it takes to soften potatoes, tell it thank you for saving so much of life and then walk away like a boss.
Me and the husband put Cholula on it, it’s your life, live it well.
The Olympic trials are on and people are making teams… and some aren’t. Are moms not the same way? We all have those moms we look at and think “dang she has it figured out”. This is why Proverbs 31 is such a popular chapter, we all strive to be that “perfect woman”. It’s hard not to compare ourselves but here are 5 reasons why it’s dangerous.
- It steals our joy!- comparison is the number one cause of discontentment. Those aren’t scientific statistics but I’d put my mommy money on that being true. When you look at someone being better than you, you are actually saying that you are less than. Never sell yourself short.
- It robs our kids of their true mom- How can we be exactly who our kids need if we are trying to be someone who parents different kids? Every single family is different and God made you to be a specific type of person for your individual family. This means your strengths are exactly what your children need.
- It makes friends uncomfortable- Seriously! There is nothing worse than feeling like someone is trying to compete with you whether it’s over the kids, dress, money or who’s more tired.
- You can’t be a true friend- Moms that are trying to outdo give out a message that they aren’t actually listening and really they aren’t. You are robbing yourself of genuine and deep friendships because it’s a one sided relationship. Make sure you are listening more than you are talking and make sure you are not just trying to one up.
- It can impact you financially- Trying to keep up with Mrs. Jones can leave you quite depleted of resources. The best preschools, clothes, makeup, cars.. it all doesn’t matter. You are a mom because of your children, keep it about them.
And the one reason you should compare?
- It can help you improve on qualities you want to change!- Yes, we all know our shortcomings and where we need improvement. It’s ok to strive for qualities that can make us be a better mom, woman, overall human. I look at the moms that are always level headed and use soft voices as something that I want in myself. Not because I want to compete but because I want to be better.
So while it is dangerous to compare yourself to others, if you feel yourself comparing yourself to other mothers check your motives and make sure it’s to better yourself. Not compete.
We’ve all been at a point in life where if we could just wipe the slate clean and start over we would, whether it be our friendships, diet, home decorating, or financial issues. What we wouldn’t give for a mulligan. Those are great, except when unexpected. In our life that has been the face of unemployment.
I have realized we are in a new phase of life. I might even say we are adulting. Giving up money for family time? That would probably sound ridiculous to a lot of people. It probably would have sounded really ridiculous to me years ago. Heck sometimes I wonder if it is, indeed, ridiculous. Then I realized…. we are planting seeds. We are laying roots for family, teaching lessons about priorities to our children, showing them they are important and hopefully in them will bear all sorts of fruit.
So while it’s scary to start completely new, unaware of challenges and questioning our abilities, it’s so important to consider your priorities and weight if the importance of those is worth the risk.
What the heck is a nourished life? Oh boy let me tell you. For 2015 I chose a word that I would focus on the whole year as a goal. My word was Nourish (Surprise!!). I chose this word because it encompassed so much but I even was able to find MORE ways this word can mean to me.
This word initially makes you think of food (at least me… I always think of food first) but the definition is substances for health, growth and good condition. Come on Webster, this word is SO.MUCH.MORE! As a mother I have nourished 4 babies, in the womb, out of the womb, going into those teen years (which takes WAY more to feed). However, I’ve also nourished their hearts. I’ve given love, care, bandaids, tears. I have POURED into these little souls. That’s not enough though. We often forget, as mothers, to nourish ourselves.
Once I focused on this I realized our spirituality requires nourishment just as much as our bodies. Our relationships with people needed nourishment. Our homes, our minds, our everything. To be completely healthy we need to choose healthy people, healthy emotions, healthy food to be whole.
God provides us with all of the resources, we just need to pick those up and use them. The food He makes is whole, the Book He gave us is whole, the relationships He has blessed us with are whole. We just to keep it that way and not break pieces off and mess it up with all of our messy messy ways.